An Open Letter RE Recent Events

I wish to address the immoral, reprehensible and, at times, illegal actions of Tere Arguello and “sister” karla maria Icaza, a nun at Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church in Miami.

I am not a fan of drama, I have only publicly posted two truly personal things online in the past decade; both were eulogies, the most recent of which for my counterpart of many years and the love of my life, Carlos Icaza, which has of course resulted in tremendous pain and grief. This post is the culmination of 4 months of that pain and grief being monumentally worsened by the actions of Tere Arguello and karla maria Icaza.

While the primary purpose of writing is to reduce my stress following a recent heart attack, the result of “prolonged, intense stress”, largely stemming from the events I wish to discuss, I feel there is also a benefit in sharing what has been going on, for me and for those who know me. Up until now I had kept this very private; I had hoped sanity and some semblance of morality might prevail and if not, that it could be resolved quickly in court, but sadly this did not happen and legal proceedings have been delayed due to my recent heart attack until I am recovered and can tolerate the inevitable stress associated.

In the past four months since Carlos passed away, Tere Arguello and “sister” karla maria Icaza of Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church in Miami, have done some truly awful things; awful in that some are illegal, all are morally reprehensible and, far, far worse than that, their actions have completely betrayed Carlos.

This post is broken into 4 parts; a video in which I directly address Tere Arguello and karla maria Icaza, my letter discussing some* of these events and their impact, a dot-point list of facts and events as I cannot possibly include all relevant information in the letter itself without making it unreadably long and, lastly, a list of 200 or so recent receipts; this is only around 1/40th of the financial support I provided to not only Carlos but also to Tere Arguello who has personally benefitted from several thousand dollars of my support, including my paying the vast majority of her bills during the year prior to Carlos’ death, including her property taxes, some car payments, electricity bills, water bills, home insurance, flood insurance, meals out with Carlos, rent payments from Carlos to Tere and a handful of other things.

*I am forced to leave certain events out as, in order to keep things 100% safe I am only including that which I can substantiate in at least 2 ways as being true; thankfully in America the truth provides an absolute defense against libel.

The first thing I want to address has been bothering me tremendously due to the sheer hypocrisy of it. The excuse I was repeatedly given by many relatives as to why Tere Arguello and “sister” karla maria Icaza of Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church in Miami were telling lies about me, (we’ll get to that), was that they simply could not accept that Carlos would ever lie to them. This is the most absurd and offensive attempt at justification imaginable. Both have lied frequently, knowingly, and often with malice, since his death- as such, they have absolutely no right to expect anything better from him, given the example they set. More than this, the idea they have a right to be upset about it is asinine; Carlos was put into a position where opening up about his private life, our life, finances, etc. would result in incredible scorn and shame. These things were our business, not theirs, and put in such a position I doubt any of us would be comfortable telling the truth. It angers me beyond words that he was made to feel that accepting financial help from his counterpart was this terrible thing, that as a man that was unacceptable- people have regularly told me this is “cultural”, and that’s a very nice word for it, but let’s just call it what it is; sexism. He lied because he didn’t wish to be subject to sexist, ignorant and harmful judgments, and because our private life was our business alone.

Then there are those lies themselves. That I never gave or loaned Carlos a cent, that I didn’t pay the majority of Tere Arguello’s bills for the past year, that we were “just friends” and, the one that made me finally realize neither Tere nor karla maria Icaza had any morals whatsoever, that Carlos didn’t love me. Think about that for a moment; two people who know full well that your counterpart loved you above all else, and had for years, who heard him talk about you daily, turning around and telling you that this person didn’t love you right after their death, when they aren’t there to stop it; and that if he were, he would be utterly livid by their actions.

Now, I know Carlos loved me, he made certain that I knew he loved me above all else; no one can ever make me question it, let alone people he didn’t even trust enough to talk to about anything truly personal. What does bother me is the fact that this dishonors him, it betrays him, and for no good reason- only to try and upset me. He would be furious knowing that anyone would take something they knew was SO close to his heart, so important to him, and outright lied about it, knowing he couldn’t stop them; he considered this kind of thing an unforgivable act. This is a snippet from a chat we had about a similar remark made in the past, showing his feelings about this behavior in his own words.

[2/4/14, 11:04:12 AM] Peach Pellen: I’m not the best judge; I lost the last shred of respect I had for him when he tried to convince me you didn’t care about me, like the moron that he is.
[2/4/14, 11:04:43 AM] carlos m icaza: wait
[2/4/14, 11:04:49 AM] carlos m icaza: *pause*
[2/4/14, 11:05:13 AM] carlos m icaza: he actually said that to you? or implied?
[2/4/14, 11:05:34 AM] Peach Pellen: Yes… I felt like I told you at the time, but maybe I forgot since there was a lot going on then.
[2/4/14, 11:05:57 AM] carlos m icaza: that’s more than a little fucked up
[2/4/14, 11:07:02 AM] Peach Pellen: Well, he’s an ass- but it isn’t like it upset me; it was too absurd for that, like, at this point anyone who thinks either of us would ever doubt the love of the other is dumb as fuck
[2/4/14, 11:07:16 AM] carlos m icaza: be that as it may
[2/4/14, 11:07:22 AM] carlos m icaza: bugs me that he did that to you
[2/4/14, 11:08:01 AM] carlos m icaza: even though we know what we are and what we have and know you know cherish you, he tried to upset you about something v personal
[2/4/14, 11:08:14 AM] carlos m icaza: him failing makes him a loser
[2/4/14, 11:08:32 AM] carlos m icaza: but telling you don’t care about you makes him a fucking cunt who hopefully one day get chance to eviscerate because anyone who does that doesnt deserve life
[2/4/14, 11:08:51 AM] carlos m icaza: seriously want to cause him *severe* pain
[2/4/14, 11:09:49 AM] Peach Pellen: I was going to soothe you, but you’re right; if this were the other way around I would be the same… And I appreciate the fact that you care about the intent even if it didn’t bother me; you’re a good Lucifer, thank you.
[2/4/14, 11:10:03 AM] carlos m icaza: no one comes *or tries to come* between me and my minion especially if entails trying to upset her <hugs>
[2/4/14, 11:10:42 AM] carlos m icaza: anyway fuck him, you want go lunch at place near apt?

The other lies, that I had never given or loaned him money and we were “just friends” seemed to ease up after I sent a bound document, 175 pages long, showing $49,000 of receipts, only a portion of what I had given/loaned (money was a mix of gifts and loans; this was at his insistence, I never cared about the money and always pushed for it to be a gift) him in the last year or two. I included a civil cover letter making it clear I would provide absolute proof of a romantic relationship if they continued to tell this lie, which seemed to stop them- although that may also have been impacted by the fact they violated our privacy by going through his phone and other personal property which contained some extremely explicit material*.

*I know a few people will judge but I’m both comfortable with my sexuality and profoundly proud of the fact we were still as attracted to each other as when we met. Still, I’ll apologize to my sister who I know will cringe reading that.

Both Tere Arguello and “sister” karla maria Icaza of Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church of Miami have a penchant for gossiping. It would aggravate Carlos to no end, but I had no idea the extent of it until I was subjected to it myself. Amongst this gossiping, the question arose; why is Peach so close to Kay, Carlos’ ex girlfriend?

I was never asked. I understand why people would wonder; she wasn’t always kind to him, and being biased, I used to judge her harshly for that and ignore the fact that he was just as unkind to her; then I met her, and I learned that last Christmas, when he desperately wanted a tree and Tere Arguello and karla maria Icaza prevented this under some kind of asinine religious pretext*, Kay got him a tree. He had a tree for his last Christmas on earth because of her; and I love him so much that anyone who would do that for him I cannot help but love, too. That’s why- she got him a tree.

*This isn’t a judgment of not wanting a tree for religious reasons if you’re actually religious; I simply think that using religion for justification while stealing, lying and behaving in morally reprehensible ways, violating god knows (pun intended) how many commandments is, as above, completely asinine.

Then, while Tere Arguello was violating probate law, I learned that these horrible, awful people were planning to withhold our personal belongings, worth only a few thousand dollars, including t-shirts I love to sleep with and which I provided receipts for*, they returned his phone to AT&T. They did this knowing I wanted it, that I paid for it along with Tere Arguello’s cell phone plan, and that I needed it to fulfill one of Carlos’ wishes. They had said they were going to wipe it, claiming I shouldn’t have access to his “personal information”. I wanted to scream; what the f*ck is wrong with you people? It is our personal information, mine is on there too, and either of you going through it would make him extremely uncomfortable. I didn’t – I was civil and gave them the benefit of the doubt. Then I learned the phone had been returned; spiting me at the expense of his wishes… Thankfully, I was able to speak with some people at AT&T and explain the situation, provide his death certificate and restore his phone to a new handset. Although the only real harm done was some stress and emotional pain on my part, it angered me that his wishes would matter so little to people who should have cared for him; people he should have been able to trust.

This isn’t the worst thing; stealing t-shirts, knowing I wished to sleep with them, stealing laptops that belonged to me and to my company, valuing a few thousand dollars more than Carlos’ wishes and beliefs, (he would never steal and was profoundly grateful for all my support, which he absolutely deserved; he was very supportive of me, too, in other ways,) was horrific and just a really disgusting thing to do – but on top of this, “sister” karla maria Icaza, a nun at Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church in Miami, did two things, a few weeks apart.

First, she stole his watch- a cheap, plastic, chewed up watch that he loved, and I had gotten for him- from his hospital room. To try and sell it. This isn’t something anyone has denied and Tere Arguello, her mother, even told me this. I was beyond appalled.

The next thing beggared belief. I saw charges on my credit card, which Carlos had a clone of – all of his expenses were paid for by me, and he had multiple cards tied to my funds, which everyone knew, including karla maria who I had spoken to about this explicitly on more than one occasion…

“Sister” karla maria Icaza, the nun, stole my credit card from my deceased lover’s wallet and proceeded to use it three separate times; a felony in Florida. I made contact and said I want the card and money returned, now. She claimed she had no idea about this, that it was impossible, the cards had been cut up. I responded, full of a mix of incredulity and disgust, stating that I would be contacting her mother superior and then the police if I did not have the card in my hand within a few days, and while I understand she is used to constantly lying, I’m not OK with that; especially when there are security cameras in two out of three places she used the card… one of which was a vending machine, incapable of taking a cut-up card even if it were expertly glued back together. The response? “The card will be in the mail by Tuesday”.

I did receive it, though she still owes me the funds she stole- but when I did, she had cut it up. Obviously this doesn’t support the lie, the lie was already proven- it was simply a way of being hurtful, knowing that the cards themselves held tremendous sentimental value for me- I remember giving him each one, each a sign of love and commitment; a way of letting him know he had support from me always.

I want to note that I met a dozen or so other nuns from Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church of Miami and that all of them seemed to be genuinely good, kind people, even when I was blatantly clear to the point of being short about the fact that I did not want to hear about how this was part of “God’s plan”. One very nice younger nun, Emma, I think her name was, was one of the few people I didn’t already know to come and hug me as I cried during his burial. I do not want to suggest that the church is to blame for “sister” karla maria Icaza’s actions; I suspect she has simply manipulated them and that they are, at the time of writing, unaware that she has recently committed a felony, repeatedly lied, stolen and behaved in such an appalling manner. I will be contacting them once this goes live, both requesting comment and making them aware that I am in the process of pressing charges, meaning that in the near future karla maria will have a criminal record for felony theft. I shall update this post in the coming days with a response or a note that they have declined to comment; it is of course my hope they will not support her actions, but time will tell.

I could go on about the hurtful lies, the personal items worth so little money that have been stolen, the fact that I supported these people and offered continued financial support with no strings attached and dearly wanted to believe they were decent people… but I won’t. They broke the law, they betrayed Carlos and attempted to hurt the one person who always stood by him, who he so often stated he could not survive without, who kept him sane, who sat up nights with him when he couldn’t sleep, who kept all his secrets and took care of him, and them; not only are they missing out on learning so many special things about him, heartwarming things, amazing things, because he was an incredible man- but they have also given up the thousands of dollars in financial support I offered to continue providing, in exchange for the few grand they’ll get pawning our stuff. It is stupid, as well as unconscionably unkind; stealing the tshirts which cost all of $7 or $8, after being provided with receipts, is a level of sickening that I cannot even wrap my head around.

I end with this thought, addressed directly to Tere Arguello and karla maria Icaza;

When you look around your home, you will know who paid your property taxes, insurance, all your bills, put money into your car payments, the gifts Carlos gave you and everything in that house that is his, from his cookware to his tools, his toys and all of his dog supplies, even Enzo, you will know that was me- and when you think of Carlos, as long as you live, I hope you will feel at least a little sick at the fact you dishonored him, betrayed him and his wishes, and hurt the person he loved the most; that you went against not only him but your god, just to steal sentimental belongings worth a few thousand dollars. He lied to you because you put him in a situation where he had no choice; look at how you have treated me, it’s obvious he was right not to trust you. I believe he will always love you, Tere, but he wouldn’t forgive you.

You will both have to live with what you’ve done, and although his death has left me damaged in a way I will never come back from, I have something you cannot steal and will never, ever have- the comfort of being the one person who truly knew him, who he told all his secrets, who he loved above all others, who he trusted completely, that he cherished, and, most importantly, I am able to say that I made him proud and never once let him down.

To everyone else, I apologize for my recent silence; just as Carlos so often said he could not function without me, much of the time I have struggled to function without him – something made infinitely harder by the callous actions discussed above. It has taken me a month to write this; the feelings of disgust and sadness, and of course anger that Carlos was wronged above all else, cause a lot of stress; something I must continue to minimize in order to recover. Having finally gotten this off my chest, I plan to push myself to become more sociable and get back into writing, coding and general nerdery, and I look forward to sharing all of that with you as I go, as always. I know he would be happy to see me back doing things in the community. Thank you for the support during this time; so many of you have been amazing and the recognition of being, effectively, the “widow”, that acknowledgment, has validated my feelings and heartache tremendously. I will be forever grateful for that.

Below, after my sign off, is the dot point list of events; this is for those of you who have been asking and waiting for an update, so you all know the full story – followed by a spreadsheet showing a tiny fraction of my financial support for both Carlos and for Tere Arguello.

Peach Pellen Signature
Peach Icaza Pellen

(Yes, this is my legal name; it was meant to get changed for Carlos’ birthday, but for obviously tragic reasons was delayed. The court finalized it September 7th.)

NOTE: Proof of all statements made above and/or below will be provided upon reasonable request, including receipts for over $100,000 of financial support for Carlos Icaza, along with proof of financial support for Tere Arguello of several thousand dollars, and the case number provided by law enforcement for the felony case against karla maria Icaza.

The outline, facts, key points and events:

- Carlos and I were in an unconventional codependent relationship, the nature varying, for 7 years
- Despite claims (no inference intended as to whom claims were made by) to the contrary, we had a healthy sex life during the periods that kind of intimacy was a part of the relationship
– For 18-24 months prior to his death I supported him financially
– For 12 months prior to his death I supported his mother, Tere Arguello, financially, via Carlos
– I do not believe she was aware of the fact I was the one supporting her as to the best of my knowledge Carlos did not openly discuss his/our finances with anyone except myself
– The money provided to Carlos for himself and his mother was a combination of loans and gifts, at roughly a 50/50 split between the two
– His ethics dictated that this amount be a loan; this was his demand. I would have given him anything he asked for; and did, for himself, his mother and even his sister karla maria, whose shoes I bought.
– I flew to Miami on the first available flight after he went to hospital, and on the phone prior to this flight, multiple times in person, in texts with karla maria, and directly to his mother in person upon my arrival, I clearly stated that I personally paid his health insurance, not my company, no one else, just me, for two years. I provided the relevant information.
– Every expense of his was paid by me, he used only my credit cards or money from a joint account I set up to help him feel more secure (to which I was the only contributor) for the period outlined above, with amounts ranging from $3,850 during our cheapest month to $12,400 or so in our most expensive.
– For approximately 12 months I reliably paid Tere Arguello’s expenses, including but not limited to; power, water, house insurance, flood insurance, cell phone, property tax, all meals out with Carlos, and 2 or 3 car payments.
– Every time I visited Miami I brought some arthritis cream with marijuana in it because it seemed to be the most effective treatment for Tere
– Carlos would not accept laptops/ipads/etc. as a gift and thus I bought them for me and told him they were indefinite loans. I viewed them as gifts but he needed that agreement and I could live with it if it made him more comfortable.
– I was prevented from visiting with Carlos’ mother Tere for 3 weeks by karla maria, a nun at Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church of Miami
– When I was able to make this visit I provided his mother Tere with a list of personal items I would like returned to me, amongst them some of our electronics, making note that if the laptop she regularly used was amongst those I’d provided I did not wish for it to be returned, along with his cheap plastic watch I had bought him despite pushing him to choose something nicer, the cards he had kept from me over the years, some tshirts I had given him, the ring I gave him when we found out that despite previous beliefs, I could actually have a child, etc.
– I informed his mother of my role in his life as best I could, and told her the financial situation; gently. I had no desire to collect on any loan if these personal belongings (valued at less than 5% of said loan) were returned to me.
– Speaking independently before she had reviewed the list, she promised to return this cheap watch, which she informed me his sister karla maria had taken from his hospital room in the hopes of selling it; I explained it was not worth money, he just liked it. It was something a child might wear and covered in tooth marks from the dog I paid for, Enzo.
– I offered to continue my financial support of her indefinitely with no obligation on her part; as a gift, not a loan, because I believed it was my duty to Carlos to at least extend the offer. She declined and I respectfully implored her to reconsider. When she declined again I accepted, and offered to continue getting her the arthritis cream she used. She informed me she still had a full tube and knew it was expensive, and this was not necessary.
– Before I left Tere Arguello asked me about my tattoo; what if other boyfriends don’t like it, want it gone? I told her clearly that any other boyfriend will know who Carlos was and that he will always own my heart even if they hold it for awhile; if that is a problem, they can find another girl.
– I felt positive about this meeting and believed Tere Arguello to be a good, honest person. I am embarrassed to say I felt tremendous warmth for her because although they very often fought, Carlos still loved her. I sent an email to her that evening, thanking her and telling her I was happy to hear how often Carlos talked about me and that he spoke of her too, that I know he loved her. I attached copies of receipts for some electronics as requested.
– Two days later I learned that Tere, karla maria and a few other relatives were telling people within Carlos’ circle that I was a liar who never gave him a cent, that we were never in a relationship and other hurtful things I wont list as they’re harder to substantiate.
– I felt very upset that a nun (at Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church) and the woman who now knew I’d paid substantial amounts of money to support her, to take care of her son, whom I loved completely, would say such awful things. I sent a 175 page document (170 pages of receipts totaling $49,800, a polite cover letter, and another copy of the list of items I would like returned) in the hopes it would prevent these lies. I offered to provide proof of a romantic relationship if requested (after a confidentiality agreement/NDA/whatever my lawyer deemed appropriate was signed) in order to stop that in its tracks.
– From here on, I communicated via a third party, a cousin, working to help Carlos’ relatives.
– I received some items from my list, but a small number and no clothing, work property or a ring of great personal significance to us both.
– I paid the postage on these items.
– I continued to make it clear that if our/my items were returned, I would be happy to formally write off the debt as paid and provide them with documentation supporting that so that it would not become a hurdle during probate
– After 2 months I asked the cousin about the majority of my list, why it was still missing. I was told they had no intention of returning these items.
– I said that I really want to avoid court, no one needs the stress, and if we go to court it’s going to be me collecting the debt, which exceeds the value of his estate; I’d walk away with some money I don’t want and though I’d get his car and more expensive watch (which he had intended to give me on my next visit as he, for some reason, greatly preferred his cheap one and I had paid more than the watch was worth in repairs over the years) I don’t want to go through that if we can avoid it.
– I offered to pay for a lawyer so they could get sound legal advice in the hopes they would understand that they did not have any defense and it would be better to give me the personal, sentimental items I truly wanted. They did not accept the offer to pay for a lawyer.
– I was informed they got legal advice, but it was based on the false premise that no proof of a loan existed. They wished to claim over $100,000 was a gift and keep it, along with these sentimental items, telling me that I should consider the few things they did return as a gesture of goodwill. (I’m unsure as to the competency of the attorney they claim they consulted as they were supposedly told the mother and sister were the next of kin, but that is incorrect; Florida law clearly states that in his situation his mother, not his sister, is next of kin. It was implied they were somehow on the same “tier”, which is simply wrong.)
– I replied, politely, as always, saying that there is ample proof, I hadn’t provided it before as I didn’t feel explicit proof of a loan was worth sending as I had no intention to collect on that debt if our/my belongings were returned as agreed. I attached one of dozens of documents pertaining to loans from me to him.
– This attachment might have been seen as antagonistic as it did show him calling his sister a “c*nt”, but he did this often and made no secret of his hatred for her, her behavior, and how she treated him. It also showed both of us discussing orgasms and fellatio. I apologized for any discomfort but made it clear this was not intended to be antagonistic and was in fact one of the more polite, least explicit emails relevant to the loan I had, as we had long email threads and subject matter varied greatly; nothing was ever just about money.
– I sighed, emailed my lawyer and went to try and find a direct business class flight to Miami that wasn’t at an awful time of day… while doing so I tried to wrap my head around how anyone could claim such a massive gift knowing it wasn’t true, then deny the alleged giver a $180 plastic watch? How could they lie knowingly, why would they say such disgusting things, claim he didn’t love me despite knowing that was absurd? When I had been nothing but kind and generous to these people, and been the best part of Carlos’ life, the one to keep him happy and sane and to save him, the one person who was always there for him, to never let him down, who he couldn’t survive without, (all his own words,) who had paid the vast majority of his mother’s bills for a year or more – how could they possibly justify this? How could I have let him spend the last days of his life around such disgusting people? What damage did it do to him to be afraid if they learned he needed a financial hand from me, a woman, they would treat him like a failure when he was a better man, a better person, than they could ever dream of being?
… then boom, heart attack. It was the idea of him feeling like he couldn’t be himself and living in that toxic environment that did it.
– “Sister” karla maria Icaza, a nun at Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church in Miami stole my credit card from the wallet of my deceased counterpart, Carlos Icaza, and proceeded to use it multiple times. She knew it was my card and my money. It was discussed, including via text message, and I can prove this. In Florida, this is a felony.
– When I noticed the card had been stolen and used, I assumed it would be her as Carlos regularly told me she was a very greedy person; I was able to confirm this and then contacted the cousin who acted as a go-between, stating she needed to return the cards and the money she had stolen, that although Carlos had permission to use it, she did not.
– She replied (via the go-between) that she had not used it but would like to see the charges.
– I responded with the charges and informed her (via the go-between) that if the card was not returned I would be pressing charges for the felony she had committed, and to not waste my time with her lies; I understood she was used to getting away with lying as a nun, as people just assumed she wouldn’t do such a thing; but that there was security footage of her using the card and now she needed to return it and “keep her hands off my money/property and my name out of her mouth” (referring to the repeated lies relating to myself and my deceased counterpart.)
– I heard back a few hours later, one simple line; “The card will be in the mail by Tuesday”.
– “Sister” karla maria Icaza, a nun at Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary Church of Miami, did not apologize, nor did she reimburse the money she has stolen. I am in the process of pressing charges

While I could go on, this has been emotionally draining and I feel this is enough; the purpose of this is to update people in my life, to warn others and to get things off my chest, not to list every bad thing these people have ever done, which I’m sure would take weeks.

By no means a complete list, but just the last ~200 or so charges across two of my accounts. (He used six, but this isn’t intended as a complete list, rather an example of my love and desire to support him- and Tere Arguello, who accounts for around $4800 of the below charges.)

12/15/15$4.24Data Structures and Algorithms
12/15/15$4.99The Design and Analysis of Computer Algorithms
12/15/15$13.29Apple iPad mini Smart Cover (Red) - MD828LL/A
12/18/16$349.00SAFEPOINT INSURANCE CO 813-651-3400 FL
12/19/15$69.22Carrer Go Car Electric Extension SET 3 Slot Racing System Set Tracks Carrera
12/19/15$10.99Bachmann Trains Snap-Fit E-Z Track 18" Radius Curved Track (4/card)
12/19/15$14.95OXO Good Grips 4-Cup Fat Separator
12/19/15$14.98Mrs. Anderson's Baking Non-Stick Springform Pan, 10-inch
12/19/15$10.97Orblue Pastry Cutter Stainless Steel - Professional Baking Dough Blender with Blades
12/19/15$9.98Freshware CB-107RD 18-Cavity Medium Silicone Mold for Homemade Madeleine Cookies, Chocolate, Candy, and More
12/19/15$10.99Playskool Mr. Potato Head
12/19/15$7.98Norpro 136 3-Cup Stainless Steel Crank Flour Sifter
12/19/15$239.68Carrera Evolution Speed Record Playset
12/19/15$79.17Bachmann Trains Snap-Fit E-Z Track 9" Straight Track - Bulk (50 pieces)
12/19/15$204.73Carrera Evolution - LaFerrari Slot Car Race Set
12/21/15$9.20All the Shah's Men: An American Coup and the Roots of Middle East Terror
12/21/15$5.19Hero: The Life and Legend of Lawrence of Arabia
12/21/15$11.33A Peace to End All Peace: The Fall of the Ottoman Empire and the Creation of the Modern Middle East
12/22/15$12.16Lawrence in Arabia: War, Deceit, Imperial Folly and the Making of the Modern Middle East
12/24/15$178.30TARGET 00009688 MIAMI FL
12/28/16$351.00SAFEPOINT INSURANCE CO 813-651-3400 FL
1/2/16$89.94MEETUP.COM 877-633-8870 NY
1/4/16$13.73Adafruit Standalone 5-Pad Capacitive Touch Sensor Breakout - AT42QT1070 [ADA1362]
1/4/16$6.22SB400 Solderable PC BreadBoard, 1 Sided PCB, matches 400 tie-point breadboards with Power Rails, 1.90 x 3.00 in (48.3 x 76.2 mm)
1/4/16$84.00GITHUB.COM 1B40V 415-448-6673 CA
1/4/16$24.11TalkingRain Sparkling ICE Lemonade, 17-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)
1/4/16$11.77Sparkling ICE Variety Pack, 17oz (Pack of 12)
1/4/16$14.68TalkingRain Sparkling ICE Lemon Lime, 17-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)
1/4/16$10.98Capri Tools 20013 Professional Wire Stripper and Cutter
1/4/16$105.00AT&T*BILL PAYMENT 800-288-2020 TX
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[4/15/16, 11:52:13 PM] carlos m icaza: without your support would fall apart- you know i couldn’t survive if not for you, you keep me sane and even on gloomiest days you are one bright thing making me smile even when am surrounded by idiots who just don’t get it- thank you for always having my back minion, may not say it enough but cherish you and what we have

Peach and Carlos

13 Responses to An Open Letter RE Recent Events
  1. John Gould Reply

    Unbelievable. If I hadn’t seen these things happening in real-time over the past few months, I would scarcely believe people could be so terrible, and so stupid. You offer to continue supporting his mother because you know that’s what Carlos would want, and they virtually spit in your face, and his.

    How could they even do this to him, their only son and brother? There are just no words to describe how horrible these people are and what they’ve put you through. So sorry any/all of this happened and I’ll look forward to your day in court. I’m sure that’s what he wants, and you’ll be seeing that he gets justice after all of this.

    Glad to see you got through this terribly difficult letter and I hope you can go back to doing what you love and what he wanted for you very soon, Peach Icaza Pellen.


  2. kyle Reply

    There are no words for how sorry I am that this has happened to you. It’s obvious losing Carlos was the most awful thing imaginable for you and then to deal with scum like this is so, so upsetting. As a Christian I can tell you that the bible says that God will punish them unless they make amends, which obviously it doesn’t sound like they will do. I hope you can trust that He will send them to hell one day while you are in heaven with Carlos.

  3. David Reply

    This is the most fucked up thing I have ever heard. When you were talking about how that cow took his watch was the first time in my life I can say I have ever thought I wanted to beat up a nun. How can they do that when they obviously know how much you did for him? They are sick mentally to do even half those things.

  4. Xenia Reply

    Reading this shakes me to my core. It is beyond sickening that someone who pretends to represent and uphold the purest, most selfless values of the bible could be so reprehensible. This person does not deserve to hold a title in any church. I’m not even convinced she deserves a life on this side of the bars.

    Where was her compassion and her love when you were down and she was essentially kicking you repeatedly in the gut?

    Regardless of what we might individually believe, I’m certain that there is someone up there who has seen her hypocrisy and will hold her accountable.

    Carlos, whether he is right now, must be exceptionally proud of you, not only for bringing to light the true nature of these people, but for holding yourself together when it must feel impossible.

  5. Xenia Reply


  6. Abhishek Nandy Reply

    This has been a very difficult phase for you.Comeback stronger than ever.

  7. Richard Keaton Reply

    WTF :-| this makes me want to hug you and go kick ass at the same time. I didn’t know Carlos that well or for that long, we met at the Lanica meet up where you showed me the flappy bird clone you guys were making if you remember… but even only knowing him from that and a few coffees after to talk about games and business even I know two things about him for sure: he was obviously crazy about you since he spent like half the time talking about you and he valued loyalty more than basically anything, and I know he thought you were the best example of loyalty to ever walk on two legs. You don’t deserve any of this crap :-(

  8. H Kareem Reply

    you give this guy everything, ur heart and ur money and then help by paying for his mother bills and they steal from you!! disgusting

  9. Briar T Reply

    To read this is absolutely sickening. This woman is a disgrace to her religion and her church. Absolutely disgusting. Im so sorry you’ve had to go through this. Stay strong, Peach. I hope justice is served.

  10. Alex Sanders Reply

    Hi Peach, I’m not sure if you remember me but you helped me in my first iOS game, Bug Squash. (I started in Game Salad then you helped me swap to Corona instead.) I still follow your posts and wanted to say something when Carlos died but I just didn’t know what anyone could say, it was SO obvious you guys loved each other and I still don’t know what to say except that I am SO sorry for your loss and it is heartbreaking that you have been made to suffer so much more during this horrible time by these people. They should be grateful for you and love and respect you! If anyone did that for my son or my brother (I don’t have brothers but either of my sisters or my brother in law or really anyone I know and love) I would want to thank you and show how grateful I was, it’s like you wrote in your letter about Kay and the Christmas tree, that is what love is! These people have no love and don’t deserve to know you and I am so SO sorry for what they have done to you and to Carlos. That you still are so clearly more upset and angry for what they did that was wrong by him and that went against his wishes than you are for their cruelty to you shows what kind of a person you truly are, because even now you still put him first while they care only about themselves.
    You mentioned that this happened in Florida and even if you already have a lawyer my wife Joan has been practicing here for almost 30 years and if you need any help when you are recovered and well enough to sue their asses off she would be more than happy to help you. Stay strong and don’t let them make you feel sad, like you said they will never have what you had, and they can’t make you doubt his love. (I don’t think anyone who ever saw him with you or heard him talk about you could doubt it.) God bless you.

  11. Adam Reply

    I saw this on Twitter and after reading it I went and watched the video in your memorial post then came back and read it again… I’m not a programmer and had never been to your website before but I got drawn in, first because you’re a very attractive woman, then because as I read and watched your videos I was struck by both how much you seemed to love this guy and how devoted you were to him and then by how incredibly sad your situation is.

    I looked back at a lot of your older posts and some of your tweets which led to seeing a few of your interviews… I think you mention him in every one and in the videos you can see your eyes light up when you talk about him, which is sweet but amazingly sad as well because of his passing.

    I don’t know if it means much from a stranger but I was moved by your obvious love for him and I am very sorry for your loss and although I don’t believe in hell I hope these people suffer horribly for how they have treated you… it is disgusting that anyone could be like that to even a normal good friend but to do it to someone who clearly loved the guy so much and did so much for him, and on top of that did so much for his mother, is indescribably f**ked up. A girl in her twenties doing all you did not just for him but her has got to be one in a million rare and they are total pieces of sh*t for not treating you like the saint he clearly saw you as.

    Sorry if my language is strong but people like that make me sick and depress me… they are a good reason NOT to believe in god, because if there were a god there is no way he’d let sh*tbags like that keep breathing.

    Again I am so sorry for your loss and I hope the rest of your life is good, happy and devoid of sh*tty people because you had way more than your fair share with those two alone.

  12. JD Clifford Reply

    Did the church respond to you? I can’t imagine them wanting anything to do with her after she has betrayed her vows and shown herself to be such a terrible waste of oxygen! I have a cousin who is a nun and I was talking to her about this and she thought it was unbelievable and seemed confident you could trust the church to admonish her and make sure she can’t do it again.

    • John Gould Reply

      Agreed – the key is in the proof, and she’s got ample proof of all of this. The church would have to act on it, I would think.

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